we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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