the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
