I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
