I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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