just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
