And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
