it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
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