i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
