I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Randomize
