Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
