I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
