She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
