its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
