can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
