he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
