Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Reggie can tackle my bush.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
