if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
