A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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