Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
