Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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