In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
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