So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
