Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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