Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
