you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
