Little spoons don't ask big questions
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
