ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
