I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
