? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize
