But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
