he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
