I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize
