That's when you crack a 10am beer
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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