i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
