Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
