I want to stick my p in your. b.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
