3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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