Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Just high enough for therapy.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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