yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
