Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
