I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
