you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
