I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
