he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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