Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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