he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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