Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
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