Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
