so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
What drink are we having for lunch?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
