There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
