I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
